January 21, 2008

Dejunk our Life Series

 

Psalm 30:5b “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” 

 

Not Good Enough

 

As a child I always tried to earn the respect of the people I loved.    I truly tried to be the best friend, the best student or athlete I could be.  I wanted to make great grades, read all the books, run or swim my very best.    My desire was to prove I was good enough for people to care about me.   In my relationships with people I would go the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th mile.  I wanted people in my life to like me.  I don’t know why this was so important but it was. I always had the desire to be good enough to be loved. 

 

I learned in counseling class that human beings gravitate to the withholding person.   A withholding person is someone who holds back their approval of others.   When most ordinary people meet a withholding person whose respect they want, they try really hard and if the person does not respond to them, then they reach out and find more responsive people.  

 

It has taken me years to realize that a relationship with a withholding person is especially bad for me.   I will try to win their approval beyond all reason.   I will think of things I can do for them.  My thought process is, “What can I do to be a more valued friend?   Maybe if I’m more remarkable in some area I will win their approval.”   Even after some great successes in my life, often their acknowledgement never came.   It hurts if you put years in a relationship and it is unrewarded by compliments and approval.    Painfully, I have learned that sometimes you just “fold the hand” and walk away.     It hurts when you have wanted someone to love you who does not.  Unfortunately, it happens.  And when it does you learn from the painful relationship and choose more wisely another day.  

 

Life is full of much grief.   Many times we as humans mourn for things we may never speak of.  I have learned that a friendship with God truly helps and He comforts in unexpected ways.  And as the Psalm says, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”    In the bittersweet days of life God gives insight and eventually all pain lessens.   Maybe we should remember that God invests and always believes in us.  

 

Prayer:

Dear God, help me to discern about our human relationships and guide me for the very  best.  You know what I need and you know the role I may play in someone else’s life.   Please send your Holy Spirit to guide me in my choices of who I love.   Amen.