Dejunk our Life Series
Psalm 30:5b “Weeping may last through
the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
Not Good
Enough
As a child I always tried to earn the respect of the
people I loved. I truly tried to be the best friend, the best
student or athlete I could be. I wanted to make great grades, read all the
books, run or swim my very best. My desire was to prove I was
good enough for people to care about me. In my relationships with
people I would go the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th
mile. I wanted people in my life to like me. I don’t know why this
was so important but it was. I always had the desire to be good enough to be
loved.
I learned in counseling class that human beings
gravitate to the withholding person. A withholding person is someone
who holds back their approval of others. When most ordinary people
meet a withholding person whose respect they want, they try really hard and if
the person does not respond to them, then they reach out and find more
responsive people.
It has taken me years to realize that a relationship
with a withholding person is especially bad for me. I will try to
win their approval beyond all reason. I will think of things I can
do for them. My thought process is, “What can I do to be a more valued
friend? Maybe if I’m more remarkable in some area I will win their
approval.” Even after some great successes in my life, often their
acknowledgement never came. It hurts if you put years in a
relationship and it is unrewarded by compliments and approval.
Painfully, I have learned that sometimes you just “fold the hand” and walk
away. It hurts when you have wanted someone to love you
who does not. Unfortunately, it happens. And when it does you learn
from the painful relationship and choose more wisely another day.
Life is full of much grief. Many times we as
humans mourn for things we may never speak of. I have learned that a
friendship with God truly helps and He comforts in unexpected ways. And as
the Psalm says, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the
morning.” In the bittersweet days of life God gives insight
and eventually all pain lessens. Maybe we should remember that God
invests and always believes in us.
Prayer:
Dear God, help me to discern about our human
relationships and guide me for the very best. You know what I need
and you know the role I may play in someone else’s life. Please send
your Holy Spirit to guide me in my choices of who I love.
Amen.